HOAleader.com - Tip of the Week - August 22, 2008
Published: Fri, 08/29/08
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Was Obama Talking about HOA Meetings?
If you watched Barrack Obama's acceptance speech yesterday, you
heard his comments to the effect that politicians need to learn
to disagree and challenge each other's ideas without resorting
to attacks on a person's character.
As an HOA leader, you probably have some good war stories around
this topic. Personal attacks are one of the ugly and all too
common aspects of homeowner association governance.
As an HOA leader, you're also in a position to model a better
approach, to identify bad behavior from your fellow homeowners,
board members and managers, and to rein people in when you can.
Here are a few tips for better disagreements:
1. Avoid inflammatory language.
Certain language can lead to hostile reactions. Avoid using
"never" and "always" and similar constructions that are usually
exaggerations. Instead of saying, "We always waste money when we
use this vendor," explain using facts and data why you think
that using them in this case is problematic.
Another problem is accusatory "you"-focused language. Instead
speak from your own perspective. Rather than saying "You are
getting this meeting off track," say, "I'm concerned that we're
not going to get to everything on our agenda. I propose we move
on to the next item."
2. Use active listening.
Before responding to a comment, ensure you've gotten the
speaker's point. Rephrase the other person's proposal. This helps
people feel respected and feel heard. You might say, "I
understand you feel we should wait to replace the roof on
the clubhouse to save money. Based on inspection reports from two
vendors, replacing it now will save us money in the long run."
3. Focus on the issue not the person.
Respond to the content of a person's comments. Don't let your
reaction to a proposal come out as a judgment of the person
making the proposal. Don't say that you think a proposal is
"stupid" or "a bad idea" or "unwise." Instead, explain--using
objective data if possible--how it's beyond your association's
budget, or it's technically unfeasible.
One of the best books on using techniques like these for
successful negotiations is "Getting to Yes". It will help you
in your role as a leader of your HOA, in business and in your
community. You can order a copy from the HOAleader.com bookstore
(for under eleven dollars): http://www.hoaleader.com/snip/103.htm
After your HOAleader.com membership, it could be the best
investment you make all year.
Best regards,
Matt Humphrey
President
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< http://www.hoaleader.com/members/154.cfm >
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